There is a first time for everyone, and it is nowhere near as complicated as you're imagining.
The short version
- Do your business. Nothing changes here.
- Stay seated. Don't stand up, don't reach for paper.
- Turn it on. Start on the lowest pressure. Everyone starts too high on their first go and everyone regrets it exactly once.
- Wash for 20 to 60 seconds. Adjust the nozzle position until it's where you want it.
- Dry off. On the Byron, hit the dryer. On the Bondi or the Go, pat dry with a small square of paper or a dedicated towel.
- That's it. Get on with your day.
The questions everyone asks and nobody says out loud
Does the water touch the nozzle?
No. The nozzle sits tucked away behind a guard when it's not in use, extends only during the wash, and never makes contact with you or anything else. It self-cleans with fresh water before and after every single use.
Is it cold?
On the Bondi and the Go, it's whatever temperature your cistern water is — closer to room temperature than you'd think, and you stop noticing within about a week. If that's a dealbreaker, the Byron heats water instantly on demand.
Do I still need toilet paper?
A bit, for drying, unless you have the Byron with its warm air dryer. Most households find their paper usage drops dramatically rather than disappearing entirely.
Is it hygienic?
More hygienic than what you're doing now. Water cleans; dry paper smears. This isn't a controversial claim — it's why most of Asia, the Middle East and southern Europe stopped using paper alone decades ago.
What about the front wash?
Both the Bondi and the Byron have a separate front-wash nozzle position with gentler pressure. It's genuinely useful during a period and after childbirth, and it's one of the most common reasons people say they'd never go back.
Give it a week
The first use is strange. The fourth is fine. By the second week you'll be mildly horrified by hotel bathrooms. That's the standard arc and there's no shortcut through it.